Depressed? Me? Never.

Went for my yearly physcial yesterday. Was all excited to have this new cute doctor examining me. I should ask how old he is because he is either my age or younger. He is not even a doctor… I think a doctor assistant? Nurse Practioner? Not too sure. Says “PAC” after his name on my medication bottle… Anyways. I need to lose weight. I knew that going in. As I sit here chugging Root Beet and some Oreos. :-p

I told him that two days ago, my mom was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. It was a shock. It hasn’t hit me the way I thought it would yet. It’s treatable and she is to have a lumpectomy in the next week or so. She had a Mammogram and they found a lump. So my doctor told me I need to make an appointment with the Breat Center to see if I have the gene that is more apt that I would get cancer. My list of things to do keeps getting longer.

He also noticed I was more depressed than normal. Ive been again fighting with Ken which is normal. But the weight of my mothers health and I told him about Sagar and how he is all the way in India. So he upped my medication. He said I need to see a therapist. Sigh. Ive been seeing them on and off since my father died. Some help but now that Im older it seems useless.

I have noticed I’ve been crying a lot. Usually over Sagar not being here. I love this boy so much. I do want him here. Sometimes it hits him hard too. Last night he wanted me there so bad he started to cry. When he tells me things like that then I start to cry AGAIN. Its going to be forever til he gets here. There is the issue of a visa. Its not an easy task of obtaining. There is a fiance visa but that costs money and you have to at least meet once in 2 years before summitting paperwork. So that is out of the question.

Oh and one more stressful event is August 27th. Ken is taking me back to court over child support. He wants to pay less. Who cares if he gets it or not. Its just a hassle getting to and from the courthouse. Which is in Cambridge, Mass. Not looking forward to that either.

On the homefront, there have been no signs of rats. THANK GOD! So all the holes have been plugged up. So I cooked my first cooked meal last night from a cookbook a friend gave me. Chicken, Broccoli Linguini. Came out pretty good. Still got leftevers. 🙂



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